Love.
It's so simple yet we make it so complex. And I am here to tell you that I see
love differently now, but I still believe in the power of true love, although I
am not sure I've ever experienced it. So this is what I know...
Self
Love. It's the cornerstone of everything. And I discovered some profound things
over the last year. This might be straight to the point, but this is what I
believe. So many of our previous relationships and experiences boil down to us,
not the other person. Yes, I know. Someone probably burned you...been there,
you thought a person was the one...but they weren't, your marriage didn't work
out, I understand. And I am not discrediting or downplaying any of these
relationships. Truly, if you knew my whole story, you would understand. But I
ask you, did any of those relationships make you feel worthy of love? Did you
feel truly happy? Were you fighting yourself more than that person? I believe
we choose how we let people treat us. I believe that we make the same mistakes
over and over again because we do not love ourselves enough to think we deserve
more. And if we come out of one type of relationship, we are usually right back
into the next one which mirrors the first. Why? Because we don't take time to
look in the mirror, pray to God, and find out what is really at the root of our
relationships. And here's the truth...it's YOU. It's ME. It's not about the
other person! We have to take time to know what we want out of life, get
through...not around certain pain, and be whole enough to decide what
relationships best serve us and what to walk away from. And you know how to do
that...look in the mirror and start asking some tough questions to yourself.
Pray on it, find some clarity ON YOUR OWN, and you will start to reemerge. And
when we find ourselves and truly what is best for us, that is when we have
achieved self-love. And this is when we find our truth. Without this, we have
nothing. And with it, we have everything. And once we have this, we can be
ready for more.
Unconditional
love. I believe that there are different kinds of unconditional love. It exists
in family, friendship, and the hardest part, with a partner. But it all comes
down to one thing, loving someone without boundaries and without reservation.
With family and friendship, it's easier because we do not put the same
expectation on the result. That love just is. But when it comes to a love
interest or relationship, we often stack it with stipulations and expectation
that something should be reciprocated on our terms. We have a vision of how the
other person should love in return. Unconditional love is about being so
steadfast in love that nothing can keep you from loving that person, but we
must give freely of ourselves which is scary and definitely a risk. I had to
learn that people love differently. When you read The 5 Love Languages,
we can see this and we must understand that someone else's unconditional might
not mirror ours. And the hard truth is some people just aren't ready to love
unconditionally and that's because they have not finished their journey of self
love. And at this point, we must decide whether to walk away or if that person
is worth taking the journey with. But both people have to love unconditionally
to even enter what I believe is true or soul-connecting love.
True
Love. It's about 100%. Not 50-50. It's loving yourself already enough to know
that you can can give 100% to someone else. It's the continuation of
unconditional love. It's about mind, body, and soul. A oneness. Not a passing
moment in time. It's true. It's real. Its completeness. It's a spiritual thing.
It's a God thing. And I believe it is possible for everyone when it's with the
right person at the right time. And so I leave you with no more perfect ending
than this:
Love
is patient, love is kind.
It
does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It
does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it does not keep record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Where
there is love, there is life.
Natalie
Rene
What a great word. It's so easy to say this word out loud, but do we honestly live our life this way? Do we continue to reach higher and raise the bar for our potential? I would say no because I know that I've been guilty of not even scratching the surface of my capacity for greatness. Why? Because we would rather stay comfortable than take risks. We ride things out, lower our expectations, and become accepting of the status quo because anything else is a risk and we fear failure. And how is that working out for us? I can tell you from my experience that I was in a fog for several years just going through the motions. I loved my girls, my family, my friends, my students, BUT I, Natalie, was not fulfilled. I lost who I was somewhere along the way...but I found her. And you can find yourself again too...if you are only willing to get outside of the box and tear down the walls that you've built up around you.
*Career
Since the passing of my father, I realize that life is really too short. And I'm not talking cliches here, I'm being serious. And yet, we always say, "I will get to it later," or "one day." I watch people count down the days until retirement and then that's when they will live. Or we've accepted someone else's plan for our career. Maybe it's a boss, a family member, a friend. And it's a process of passing the time until we can finally "enjoy" life. I watched a father who worked tirelessly as the first in his family to graduate from college. He always gave to us first and he was going to get to himself "later." Same with my Mom, she wanted to reach 40 years of teaching because she thought they had all the time in the world. But then life happens. And every plan we have comes to a screeching halt. And it is times like these that we have a choice. And at the moment of my Dad's death, I knew I wasn't really living. And so I began to work harder so I could get closer to my dream of being a full time Beachbody coach. Yet, naysayers will tell you that you are crazy for your dreams. I am a high school history teacher & people tell you that should be enough or you're discrediting the profession. That's not at all what I've ever said, in fact my students are my WHY I became a teacher. But now I just know that my dreams have been elevated to pursue another field of teaching and become a full time CEO of my own life. I have been building a team that feels the same way and wants to take the risk of a new career path, rather than waiting to let life happen to them. Once we elevate our vision, we can breathe that new dream into life.
*Relationships
I will not just elevate my expectations, I will always raise the bar for me and who I want in my life. And this comes down to every relationship I have. I have several friends who have not married yet and becoming recently single, I'm pretty shocked by some of the things people say. I've heard people tell friends that they need to lower their standards, not be too picky, or that they're expecting too much when looking for a significant other. Seriously?? Is that what we've come too? First, that implies that there is no one worthy of you out there and that I simply just don't believe. Secondly, you are allowed to stay true to the values that you are seeking in another. I believe in sacrifice and compromise, of course, but not at the expense of who you are. But this is where we lose our way. We start to justify people, tell ourselves that we aren't perfect so we can't expect someone else to be, and begin lower our standards to meet theirs. That may work for awhile but then we realize that we are right back in the same spot we were before. It's a vicious cycle...but newsflash, it's NOT someone else's fault. It's ours. Yes, I'm being brutally honest in this blog. If we continue to make the same decisions, we will get the same results.
*You
And to take it one step further, it really is about YOU. We choose how we let situations affect us, how others make us feel, and most importantly, what we think we deserve out of life. When we "flip the script," as my mentor Coyte Cooper says, we can elevate our mindset and raise the bar on our dreams, our relationships, and our quality of life.
So here's my call to action for you. If you wake up one day and realize that you are not really living, that you don't recognize the person staring back at you in the mirror, or cannot remember that adventurous, free-spirited, life-loving person that you used to be, GO AND FIND THAT PERSON! And tell yourself that you are worthy of amazing things. And that you SHOULD, not could, change your life at any moment. All it takes is an elevated vision and the belief that greatness is awaiting you.
Believe & Achieve,
Natalie Rene
What worries you masters you. What thoughts you have define you. If you cannot master your mind set, you will start breathing certain things into life. And are they the thoughts that you really propel you to lead an extraordinary life? Most likely, they aren't. I know that this has been my biggest struggle. And as many of you have heard me say before, "the mind is an amazing thing. It can convince itself of anything." This was a quote by Dad that he lived by and taught me. But it is not easy to recondition our mindset. In fact, I think it's the biggest battle we will ever face in our life...looking at our own reflection in the mirror. Sure, you can take that as a physical metaphor...but it really all starts deep inside how we see ourselves. And that comes from being able to control our thoughts in a way that we can only change. We have to think about things that move us forward to become better people. Others do not shape our mind set. We do. But it is so easy to get lost in the noise of our environments, what others say about us, and let others decide who we THINK we are. Do you get it?? Others do not get to have that power unless we allow them too. And here's the thing...the more we improve, the more confidence we grow, the more critics we will ultimately encounter. So we must build up our mental force field to say "these thoughts and feelings do not serve me."
So how do we change?
For me, it's started with my faith. I will keep my eyes on God and let him guide my heart and mind. And with that comes some important decisions about who we surround ourselves with. I am a firm believer that if we are constantly putting ourselves in environments that do not lift us higher or surround ourselves with negative people, our battle is going to be even more complicated. Isn't the internal battle enough?? We have to surround ourselves with what I call guardians of our hearts, the lifters, the game-changers, the people we walk away from after spending time together and have made us stronger. I am blessed to have some fierce guardians in my life...my girls, my Mom, several best friends, coaches, my students, and my team, Warrior Nation.
Recently, I have had the HUGE blessing to meet a dear friend, author, motivational speaker, and mentor Coyte Cooper. I finished his training on Impressions, a book he wrote about finding yourself and branding your life. He speaks about embodying gratitude, recognizing gifts that we all have, and most importantly, shifting our mindset to swap negative things into positive affirmations. And it is not easy! It is like going into a mental battle with yourself and the kicker is... we've created most of the noise! Over time, we all have allowed some pretty powerful things into our mindset. Unfortunately, many of these are barriers, not spring boards to growth. Coyte challenged us to write a list down of all the negative thoughts we have in a given day and flip them into a positive outcome. He also teaches visualization and how different our lives could be if we can envision a life without barriers. And really imagining how amazing our future can be if we only let those things go. We must let go of that fear in order to achieve our highest potential.
I am going to be brutally honest. One of my biggest barriers is settling. I have a history of making excuses for others, but it's not really about them, it's about me. I've conditioned myself to think that I'm not perfect or worthy of certain things so I have accepted less than the best for me. I am also believer in looking at the best in people and thinking I can change them. BUT I CAN'T. However, I can change me and what I allow my mind to consume itself with. And I will no longer harbor thoughts that do not serve me. Because as Coyte shares, those thoughts become directly linked to our emotions and vice versa. It's a vicious cycle.
So today instead of being a story teller only, I come to you as a voice of reason that wants to cut through the noise in your life. What would truly make you happy? What do you envision your life to be? If you can see it, then you can breathe it into life. And this is the way life should be lived. But first you need to wrap your mind around those things that are holding you back and flip them into a positive way to change your mindset. It's not easy...but nothing ever worth it is. Believe & Achieve.
Yours Truly,
Natalie Rene
To know more about Coyte Cooper, check out his website and podcast "Earn The Right to Live Your Dreams." It's a game changer...
Click here: http://www.coytecooper.com