I'm about to get real and I feel compelled to do this blog today. After having several people reach out to me lately, I realized I needed to share what I've come to learn. This is coming from my experiences as a girl, a woman, a mom, a teacher, and a coach.
We are in a constant war with ourselves and it's about body image. And there are so many factors that play into it that we really have to find out where it's coming from and be at peace with ourselves in order to be fully present each day.
When someone reached out to me recently and thanked me for being a positive role model for women, I was taken aback. She thanked me for not making health and fitness about being skinny but about being healthy. This really touched my heart. I saw so many people battle body image issues growing up. As a competitive swimmer, I saw friends battle with eating disorders and it's heart breaking. I remember as a high schooler being confident in who I was but I never considered myself to be "pretty." I was a tomboy most of my life and it always seemed that my girlfriends had the guys all about them. Plus there were a lot of people I knew who developed at a much younger age than I and what I saw as "beautiful" in the media did not match up with what I looked like. When someone told me I was beautiful recently, those feelings of disbelief surfaced. I just have never put myself in that category and it's very humbling. But it stems from experiences growing up. Instead, shouldn't I take that as a compliment? I still struggle with this because of my experiences growing up.
As a teacher, I see first hand what high schoolers are battling. The strongest and most confident of girls have battled body image issues their whole lives and many feel like it's trying to personify an image that society says is beautiful. Instead of embracing their own beauty, they feel boxed into what someone else thinks is "true beauty." I always tell them that high school is not real life and there are so many experiences awaiting them and they will find out so much more about themselves within the next couple of years. The biggest problem for them is that they are trying to find acceptance in the opposite sex. If a guy isn't interested, they take it as a lack of worthiness or beauty. The thing is...guys have the same insecurities and high school boys face the same pressures to fit in and are hurt when someone isn't interested in them too. But self-worth IS NOT what someone thinks of you at any age. It is about being true to yourself, embracing your inner and outer beauty, and then finding someone who sees you for what you truly are. When you do find someone they should be an addition to your life, not the completion.
As a mom, I am a protector, a guardian of my girls. I want my girls to understand healthy, but not EVER see it as a size or number on a scale. I want them to feel confident, strong, and present in their own skin. I see women's bodies objectified all the time & many women do it to themselves because they are hurting. They want that attention from showing off their bodies. And I am a believer in showing outer beauty...this tomboy LOVES to get dolled up for a night out on the town...BUT I do not want my body to be more valued than what is on the inside. Call me crazy, but what happened to "my body is a temple?!"
As a coach, my calling has been reaffirmed over and over. Women are hurting, men are hurting, we all are hurting. Why? Because we have built up an idea of what we are supposed to look like or set these unattainable goals in our minds about what we should weigh on a scale or the size of our clothing. Take the numbers out of the game...what are you left with? For me, it was a feeling...a true desire to just feel healthy again. I want to go outside and hike. I want to run around with my girls and not be out of breath. I want to live life to the fullest because my Dad was taken too early and he had gotten back into the best shape of his life. I want to inspire others to see that they are worthy and beautiful. At the end of the day, that is what is what allows me to be at peace. I hope you all find comfort in this too, know that you are not alone, and give yourselves some grace. You are beautiful. Period.
Xo, Natalie Rene
Share On
Thanks for a great post, Natalie. Very reassuring and so true! I admire those of you that work with high schoolers. I taught elementary students with special needs, but, could not "do" those high schoolers! Thanks for being a positive role model for them!
ReplyDeleteJanet Inman