I am a work in progress...but I've decided that I am just fine with that. I want people in my life who see me for what I am...and that's going to come with heartache, loss, and some obstacles. I cannot fix things that happened to me and I'm starting to see these wounds as badges of courage. I will NOT carry the weight of the world on me nor someone else's burden any longer for it is not of my doing. But I do know that without these trials, I wouldn't be who I am. And I'm stronger, more vulnerable, more connected to the world around me, and feel so much more present than I ever have. I have given myself permission to feel again and I am not going to be afraid. I am going to take risks, I am going to be adventurous, and I am going to fall in love again one day, but I am not going to worry about when. Because time really doesn't matter when you are living in the moment. Now is the time to just be brave. And I realized for years I was living only for others.
Our imperfections shouldn't be a sentence, but do we realize that we condemn ourselves? No one gets to decide but YOU what you deserve. You decide when you want to live again, you decide who you allow in your life, and you decide when you are ready to move on. And if something didn't work out, you dust yourself off and let the wind carry away the humiliation, shame, disappointment, and fear. Those are not your burdens. You do not have to wear a Scarlet letter. Let them go.
I am going to continue to make mistakes because I am human, but I am also going to begin living and loving every day...no matter the risk because God has a plan for me. And I believe that those who deserve our time will have to accept us imperfections and all. And if we are waiting to be perfect versions of ourself before living...then we will be waiting a life time. And life is about moments. And that's what makes life real. And that's what makes it so perfect...flaws and all.
Are you ready to live again? I know I am.
Xo, Nat
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